I avoid confrontation. I try my best to eliminate vulnerable situations from my experience. In my mind, I’ve wanted to be a “blogger”–putting out useful information for others to absorb, but the idea vastly contradicts my reality. Over the past two years, I’ve probably only published 11 posts, maybe less.
This isn’t a pity party. It’s just my reality, and I’m 100% cool with the shape and direction my life is taking.
The problem is, I had specific expectations for the way I wanted my life, specifically my career, to look and feel. I looked to other–probably more successful–bloggers, friends and random internet people to provide the blueprint for my path to success because somewhere along the line I convinced myself it’s easier to look at how other people are doing it than to embrace the journey of my own adventure. I got lost trying to be someone else because I was too scared to see what would happen if I did it my way.
Recently, I’ve experienced a shift in perspective. Suddenly, I don’t care anymore about all the little tedious thoughts that kept me stuck and afraid to share myself with … whoever you are that’s reading this. I don’t care what little thoughts or judgments you–or others–may be thinking about me or my work because my work isn’t about you, it’s about me. My growth, my experience, my lessons as a spirit inhabiting a human body.
Coming to grips with the fact that my life is about me has changed everything.
There’s more room for adventure, mistakes, waking up without an alarm clock, and connecting with friends over tea in the middle of the afternoon. I’m excited to start new initiatives because the burden of creating work for a specific outcome isn’t what I choose to focus on anymore. Instead, my focus is on creating work...and sharing it (the part I struggle with).
So my intention is to start sharing more of my work, beginning with blog posts. Today marks day one of a 21-day challenge to post a blog every day. I haven’t decided if weekends count or not.
If you’re reading this, know that you found this work for a reason. Loosen up, take a deep breath and give yourself permission to be you–imperfections, mistakes, hobbies, personal aspirations and all. And if you want, start a 21-day challenge of your own. Share what your challenge is about in the comments. #idareyou